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Alternatives to swearing like a sailor.

Dear Crew,

I found this on Graduate Fasttrack (from a social media site) and I thought that as the season has just begun, it would be a perfect time to share with you this letter.


Please note that I am a big big fan of interpersonal communication and I think that it is very important to be able to express your feelings when you talk with your fellow crew member’s. 

Therefore, try adopting some of the suggested expressions below

Instead of saying:Try Saying:
1You don’t have a f***ing clue, do you?I think you could do with more training
2She’s a f***ing power-crazy b*tchShe’s an aggressive go-getter
3And when the f*** do you expect me to do this?Perhaps I can work late (again)
4F*** off a*se-holeI’m certain that isn’t feasible
5Well f*** me backwards with a telegraph poleReally?
6Tell someone who gives a f***Perhaps you should check with…
7Not my f***ing problem mateI wasn’t involved in the project
8What the f***That’s interesting
9No f***ing change mateI’m note sure this can be implemented within the given time scale
10Whythe f*** didn’t you tell me that yesterday?It will be tight, but I’ll try to schedule it in
11He’s got his head up his f***ing a*seHe’s not familiar with the issue
12Oi, f*** faceExcuse me, sir?

Remember that for most you you, your summer season has just stated.

So when you are ready to throw someone over board, just remember  to adopt a little mantra, to help you calm your mind and stay in the now.

My mantra was: Its just a bad day not a bad life:

The yacht stewardess

Wishing you all a successful summer season and calm seas.


P.S. If you feel you can contribute further to this list then please feel free to add your comments below.

Don’t forget to claim your copy of The Stewardess Bible before the price goes up. Offer ends 30 June 2014


Forget The Swear Jar.Alternatives to swearing like a sailor.